I feel like it's been so long.

I feel like it's been so long since I've felt God move in a church service. I feel God move in my life, and I can see him moving in my family. I know He is with me for every step I take and I know He has a plan for my life. I know He is moving, but when I sit in church, I don't feel that feeling anymore. I don't feel that "wow" moments, and I don't feel the spirit of God pressing in on me anymore. I don't feel people being changed. Maybe because only the "fixed" are going to the "doctor". I'm not saying He isn't there, I'm just saying I can't feel him. A lot of the time when I'm in church, I feel like it's so hollow. All the songs are about "me" and not about "him".

Tonight I was in a church that sang the words "I'll reach my holy hands to heaven to touch you" (or something along those lines,) and not a single person raised their hands to heaven. Why would you sing a song about raising your hands and not raise your hands? Don't sing the words if you're not going to follow them out. That's why I don't like songs that are "me" based (usually) because they are hollow. Not for the person who wrote them, but for the congregation who is singing them. I feel like people playing in the worship bands are hollow, I feel like the people listening are hollow. I feel like it's an obligation now, not the desire of our hearts. I feel like Sunday is this routine day we go through every week to check it off our list.

"Today I went to church in the morning and pretended to listen to a sermon. Tonight I'll go and pretend to worship."

I'm so sick of it. Today I was in a church where the congregation was singing but no one was raising their hands (except for all the bapticostal guests there). I'm willing to bet that every single one of those kids would raise their hands at a good concert (if they are even allowed to go to concerts -gasp-) and yet they can't raise their hands in church even though the scripture specifically says to.

1 Timothy 2:8 "I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;"

My blog isn't even about raising hands in worship. It's about church feeling so hollow that it makes me almost dread going there. I'm really looking forward to the beginning of Enamored.

I'm just so bored with church and I'm hoping that there will be life again.

God is moving in my family. My brothers and their friends are all coming to the reality that God is the only thing that will free them from their addictions and their sins. And knowing this, they are becoming new people. And I see this is a true answer to many YEARS of praying. I'm really in awe the way God is doing things... I know he does miracles and I know he is going to use everyone in my family to do ministry and/or do some really great things. :)

I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.
I WISH I KNEW MY PURPOSE.
I WISH I KNEW MY CALLING.

Enamored

I'm really really really excited for Enamored. Enamored is the name of the Saturday night service that Keifer is going to be pastoring over, and I'm excited. I'm just really looking forward to seeing how God is going to use this service and the people who attend it. I know Keifer (and I) have really big hopes and dreams and expectations for this church. I can see God blessing this service down the road, and hopefully Keifer will some day have his own church. Maybe not, maybe this Saturday night service will be big enough to not need a Sunday/Wednesday... i don't know. I can't even fathom what God has in store. At all. But I'm really excited. And I am extremely proud. I just have this idea in my head of this group of people, so on fire for Jesus. Not in a weird IHOP/Only-Worship-And-Cry-A-Lot-in-Church type of deal, but true on fire, in love with God kind of deal. I just wonder what we'll do, what we'll change. I hope we'll serve at homeless shelters and do stuff like that. That is Keifer's hopes for this service - to not just be a Saturday night thing, but to be a group of people who live out their relationship with Christ every single day of thew week.

Anyways. That's all!

-Paskie.

pray.

I don't pray a lot. I should. I know the importance of it, and I'm so quick to tell other people to pray, but I just... don't pray a lot. It's not because I don't want to, it's not because I'm "angry at God" or anything... I just don't feel like my first reaction to things is to pray. SOMETIMES, but not always. Don't get me wrong, I definitely pray, just not nearly as often as I should, and I don't pray for as many things as I should. Only when those things cross my mind. And sometimes not even then! I know some people who pray about EVERYTHING. And that's so amazing to me. I want to be one of those people. I guess sometimes I just feel like God is on his throne, far away from us, watching us and helping us but not wanting to get too involved or not wanting to interfere.I know that's silly, and I know that is totally Biblically incorrect. Here's what I've found with the help of Google.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15).

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6).

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18).

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

So there it is. Pray all the time, about everything. Easier said than done, I guess! I think one of the things about prayer is it's generally selfless. You should be praying for your family and friends, for lost ones, for our president, our country, our church body, for our health, our safety. We should be thankful and giving praise. And all that is taking time to think about something or someone other than yourself. It's interesting how everything about Christianity and Christ is it's all selfless, and it's all selfless because it 's all about love. And true love is selfless. Seriously, everything about Christ and the Bible comes down to love. It's mind blowing. I'm going to end this blog and go pray.