Friday, April 30, 2010
What does that mean? I'll tell you what I think it means.
I think it means that you kill off yourself. You kill off all your selfish ambitions. You crucify everything that is worldly, everything that is sinful. You kill off everything that is not of God, but of the world. And then you only live as if Christ lived through you. If you read Paul's books, they all talk about the Holy Spirit living in us. So why don't we actually act like it? I'm beginning to wonder about what we call "Christians" these days, because I don't think the modern day Christian has anything to do with what Paul talks about, or what Jesus talks about. I feel like if we truly loved Christ, we really would crucify ourselves. What kind of Christians do we know, think about them. Think about if they have been crucified by Christ. Think about if YOU have been crucified by Christ. Do you honestly put yourself to death in order to live by Christ? Do we live life in faith? I mean really. I agree with what Francis Chan says in Crazy Love. We are the laziest Christians, trying to do as little as we can and still call ourselves Christians who love God. I'm sorry but love isn't lazy. If you've ever been in love, truly in love with somebody, you'd do anything for them. You'd bend over backwards and lick your toes if you knew it'd make them happy, so why don't we live like that when we claim to be in love with Christ? Why don't we truly live like we love Him? Probably because we don't truly love him, we just like him a lot.
My next blog: Being clothed with Christ.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I was angry again tonight, at someone different. I was angry to think that someone could jump to conclusions and attack me like they did, but then I realized that's just how they roll. That's the way they take care of things. And if that's how that person wanted things to be, that's exactly how they'll be. I don't need my opportunity to "explain myself" or even find out what the cause of this was, because in the end it doesn't matter.
I feel full of love right now.
OH, and tonight was amazing. Circa Survive + Coheed & Cambria = perfection.
The night with my boyfriend = Perfection.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Anyways Mark Zacharewicz died last night. It's really weird typing that. We weren't close. I mean we "dated" for like, 3 weeks when I was 15. He bought me flowers, he was real nice too. We weren't friends after that, but I started to see him at church every now and then. He ended up being a pretty nice kid. He used to call me "Paskiewicz" and I thought he was cool because he could speak Polish and Ukrainian and that was pretty impressive. He had the most awe-inspiring ability to accept everyone as they are. I was talking to Kay and she said sometimes we don't accept people for who they are -sometimes people think of it as negative to accept people as who they are if they aren't good people, and sometimes we don't hang out with certain people because of our image. But then we reminded each other that Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax-collectors, people who were looked down on by society. Jesus was showing love, and Mark did that a lot. He showed love to everyone, and that's inspiring.
Mark's death brings so much to my mind. Even though we weren't close and hardly ever talked, it's weird. I have his number in my phone. I have emails from him, he's on my facebook. He used to call me and invite me to play capture the flag, and I never went... but he makes me remember that we all assume we'll live until we're 80, and die from a natural death. He reminds me that death could be tomorrow, death could be in five minutes. Death could be next week - What do we need to fix before we die? Really, what do we need to fix? We think we have our whole life to make things right, but what if we knew we were going to die next week? What would we do? Not physically like sky-diving and whatever, but what kind of relationships would we fix, what kind of attitude would we have, what kind of love would we show, what would we tell people, what would we give away? We need to live like we're dying in the sense that, life could end, and it can't end on a bad note. Don't end your day angry at someone, don't forget to end your day without telling the people you love that you love them.
I wonder if I were to die tomorrow, how many blogs would be written about me? What would they say? Would my blogs say that "Sarah Paskiewicz showed love to everyone she met. She was positive and kind and always happy." or would they just say "Sarah was cool, and she made me laugh."? These are important questions. I don't' want my life to end with any unfinished business. I don't want my life to end with people thinking I could have been better. It overwhelms me when I think of how much better I wish I was, cause honestly I just wish I was more like my mom. More patient, more uplifting, more encouraging, more positive. I work towards those things but sometimes I just don't feel like I'll ever be who I want to be. But I'll never stop working. I'll never stop trying to show that love that Jesus showed, the love that Mark showed, the love that my mom shows. I'll never stop trying to accept people and to not judge - two things I've always been good at, but it seems like when you think you're "good enough at it" you begin to fall. No more pride, no more arrogance.
Hello, new me.
Friday, April 16, 2010
There are certain days, moments, songs, and things that make me fall in love all over again. Falling in love isn't something you do just once, it should be something that's done every day. Every time your love does something special for you, notice it. Let those little things remind you of your love. Cruising at sunset listening to The Temper Trap and Paper Tongues makes me fall in love with Keifer all over again. Going to Taco Bell and sharing a bag of cinnamon twists, cuddling and taking night time naps while watching Whose Line Is It Anyway?, playing keys and drums together -all these things just makes me fall in love again. Those little moments where we hold hands and tell each other that we love each other... I don't take those moments for granted. I cherish them because every time, I realize I've made the right decision by picking him. Every day he makes me smile, and I fall in love all over again.
What are you waiting for? Go tell somebody you love them.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”-Unknown
"Let your heart guide you...but listen closely because it whispers" - Land Before Time
"True love is not something that comes everyday, Follow your heart, it knows the right answer."
"Listen to your heart, for it knows the truth"
"Never have regrets, follow your heart."
- Jeff Zinnert
"Listen to your heart. Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."
- Paulo Coelho
"...it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I am constantly intrigued with how often songs, poems, and quotes are written about following your heart. It seems like such a pure thing to do - follow your heart, you'll live life alright. Follow your heart, everything will turn out okay. Your heart knows best. I beg to differ.
The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.
No, in your heart you devise injustice, and your hands mete out violence on the earth.
They plot injustice and say, "We have devised a perfect plan!" Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity ; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
They said in their hearts, "We will crush them completely!" They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.
For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
I'm sorry but I think I've made my point. Our heart really shouldn't be making our decisions for us, because quite obviously it's not always right.
That's really all I have to say for now.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think it takes very long to fall in love. I guess it depends what we're talking about. I fell in love with my new dog the moment we got her home and saw how goofy and clumsy she was. I fell in love with my computer the moment I opened the box. I fell in love with my car the first time I drove it. I fell in love with my boyfriend the moment I saw he had a flamingo in his room. I know "falling in love" is such a silly statement. Love isn't something you fall into, love is something you choose to do. I tell you what, I chose to love my dog. In fact, I chose HER. I also chose to make the switch to Mac, I chose to buy my car, and I chose to pursue my boyfriend. And though love comes on many different spectrums, it's still work. I will choose to take care of my dog always. I will choose to take care of my car. I will choose to love and support and cherish and encourage my boyfriend. There's just a lot about love that people over-look. Love is a weird thing, just like this blog. I don't know the purpose of it. But I'm ending it NOW.
Friday, April 9, 2010
"When our lips touch, everything else in the world fades away. It's non-existent, it holds no meaning and no value. I hear nothing, I see nothing. Troubles don't exist, my worries cease. There is no other moment I'd rather be, there's no place I'd rather be. When we kiss, I feel like we become one. I know I'm yours. I know you're mine. I'll never share you, I'll never give you up. When we kiss, I feel every ounce of love you have for me. I feel like I've found everything I've ever wanted in life. I feel so alive."
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Mom: "Do you know what a stimulus package is?"
Mom: "Do you know what, like, a financial stimulus package is?"
My mom is freaking hilarious. I don't think people realize many sides she has to her. She always knows exactly when to stay calm, when to be polite, and she always knows exactly how to say things the right way, but she also knows how to kick back and have a good time. She's actually really funny and quite the jokester. She's crazy and loud and majorly ADD... to make it short, she's exactly like me but taller, 32 years older, and a much better person. I have to say, out of all the people in this world, she's one of the very few people I truly aspire to be some day.
I feel really blessed because I know a lot of people with "bad parents". I know a lot of people who don't get along with their parents very well. And it's not that the parents are necessarily bad parents or bad people, but they're simply people who don't have things straight in their own lives and don't have much business trying to rear children. There's a lot of parents who have children and can't even love them correctly because they've never been shown love themselves. Being a parent is a really serious thing, because children are blank slates who grow up to be exactly what you raise them to be.
I'm getting sidetracked.
My point of this is that my mom is freaking awesome and I hope that when I grow up, I'm half as good of a person as she is.
Monday, April 5, 2010
These next four weeks need to end as. soon. as. possible.
Now I go back to my INFINITELY LONG SOCIOLOGY BOOK.